I used to have a pattern in the past. When I sinned or grieved God, I would go for long stretches without praying or talking to Him. I felt I was taking Him for granted by apologizing immediately – the way some humans did.
I had to take time to show how sorry I was before I could ask for forgiveness. It was as if I was doing penance.
“Shhhh…You know you are not married.”
“You’d better not say anything – at least, until you’ve had even one child.”
“How can YOU teach on holiness? Everyone knows you fell into sin many years ago. Choose another topic.”
“All this public declaration of ‘I am blessed, blablabla’ – when you don’t even have a grain of rice in your one-room. Don’t embarrass yourself.”
And so we keep quiet – and the enemy of our souls laughs loudly, cackling in glee, rubbing his hands joyfully together:
Another Redeemed of the Lord has been silenced!