Until I left the area, I used to attend an amazing weekly service a few years back: awesome music, relevant and uplifting word – and the tangible presence of God.
The head pastor – while not as ‘extremely famous’ as some other ministers – is still well known in the country. He is also regarded by some other leaders as a ‘father’: not really in terms of age or spiritual status – but with regards to his heart.
On this particular service day, a young woman walked in. Now this church is urban and contemporary with no lack of beautiful, chic, seemingly well-to-do females – but this lady was something else. Even as large as the church was, everyone noticed her.
She was putting on a long, sleeveless gown and her very fair skin was spotless. She was obviously new – and drop-dead gorgeous. So beautiful, the camera man kept panning to her.
After the usual activities, it was time for this head pastor to preach. Normally, he never stands behind the pulpit, but walks between the pews. While preaching, he would stop in front of certain individuals during the service, lay hands and pray – or just give them words.
That day, in the middle of preaching, he stopped in front of this lady and said, “God said I should tell you He loves you.”
I am certain many people thought, “Yeah, right. Her, in particular.”
The lady just nodded casually, almost as if saying, “Thank you, Pastor. Now, move on.”
He didn’t move. He repeated. “God loves you.” She nodded again.
The third time, he said, “God loves you.”
…and she just erupted. The cry was from her bowels – heavy and heartwrenching. It was like the wail of a deeply wounded animal bursting from her belly.
The atmosphere changed. I broke out in goosebumps, and people began to cry and worship in the spirit. This wasn’t an emotional reaction. You could almost feel the tangible presence of God – As A Father.
Just before the service ended, as was the norm, he read out written prayer requests, then felt led to pray for people with terminal illnesses who had just a few weeks to live – and this beautiful, young lady came out.
Now, let’s look at this from God’s perspective:
What would have happened if God had sent her there, and all the Pastor could see and concentrate on was this gorgeous, curvy lady – while he remained totally blind to the real reason she was there?
Or worse still, what if he took advantage of her because she stirred up emotional reactions in him?
What if he couldn’t ‘control’ himself – and defiled her?
Thankfully, I’ve heard about this man from people – and one thing constantly referred to is his fatherly heart towards the women who are under him: Protective. Compassionate. Pure.
But let’s bring this home:
How many times have we truncated God’s work by damaging/destroying/defiling relationships – because we couldn’t see why He brought them to us?
How many times has God allowed certain people to come our way because there were things He had given us for them, but we allowed our emotions overwhelm us – and ended up giving them snakes instead of fish, and stones instead of bread?
Sometimes, you see, God puts a ‘liking’ in your heart for someone who is not your spouse or spouse-to-be. (This ‘pull’ I am talking about is NOT sexual. If it is sexual, it is NOT of God – or your mind has remained so unrenewed, that it always ties up sexuality with anything emotional.)
When God does that, it is for Purpose – but because we don’t understand, we attribute it to man-woman dynamics. We don’t see the bigger picture, so we give in to fleeting emotional reactions – and lose out on the bigger thing He is planning to do.
Years ago, I worked as a client service executive. One day, a man walked into the office and I attended to him. He was married, but there was ‘something’. It wasn’t sexual or ‘chemistry’ but there was an ‘awareness’. I was the one handling his job, and even though we communicated via calls, there wasn’t a hint of impropriety from his end – despite that ‘thing.’ Not too long after, I left the company and someone else took over the job.
Fast forward to about one or two years later. The church I had just began attending was having some issues, and I started looking online for churches to attend – when I clearly heard God tell me to remain where I was. Not long after, He gave me a Scripture – and it was so, so clear He was talking about a new pastor coming. I shared it with someone and the person laughed, because we already had a pastor.
A few weeks later, as I walked into church, I knew something was going to happen that Sunday. I just knew.
And something happened. We were having a change of pastors.
I had just stopped using glasses and contact lenses at that time, so I couldn’t see the face of the new pastor. But when he spoke, I remember something resonated within me.
You guessed it. It was the client in my former working place. We were both shocked to see each other there.
Later on, people didn’t understand why I seemed fiercely loyal to him – or why I sometimes seemed to be a ‘favorite’, but a minister I once listened to said that God gives the sheep a place in the heart of their shepherd – and vice versa. It was true.
Apart from the Word I had gotten, he had proven I could be safe with him. I felt so safe, he practically became a ‘father’ to me.
Under his leadership, I prospered. I stretched. I grew. I sort of already knew my place in the body, but – under God – he clarified it. I found another cadence in my ‘voice’.
The ‘awareness’ had metamorphosed into a bond for purpose that season because both of us understood and operated within God-given boundaries – physically and mentally.
Divine purpose is truncated and relationships damaged/defiled/destroyed when even one of the parties lets ungodly desires rule.
And, please, this is not about Pastors or Men.
This is about Kingdom Relationships – Men, Women, Leaders or Laymen.
A higher slant is this: Whether single or married, everybody in the kingdom (apart from your spouse) is a father, mother, brother or sister. Therefore they should be treated – and thought of – the way Paul told Timothy to: “Older men as fathers, young men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger ones as sisters.” (1 Timothy 5:1&2)
Anything outside that is spiritual incest. You do not get caught up in carnal emotional entanglements, lustful flirtations or polluted desires – with/for your family members.
In the Body, You can only marry one person – which means only one person is allowed to have access to your emotions.
Therefore, if you are already married or single-but-unavailable, and you find yourself having a ‘pull’, ‘connection’, even ‘protective feelings’ towards another (again, I emphasize, NOT sexual), you take it first to God – as I explained in this post – and ask Him honestly, “Since I know I cannot marry this person who is my sister/brother, is there a reason for this connection/relationship?”
God might say, “RUN!”…
…or He might say, “Protect this relationship. There’s something I want to do right now…or in this season…or in the next 20 years.”
With time, that initial ‘awareness’ metamorphoses, and Purpose becomes clearer.
Unfortunately, many people lose control and rush headlong at the first point of that ‘pull’, and – either physically or mentally – defile, damage or destroy the relationship.
Many have exchanged lasting and awesome kingdom partnerships for fleeting, emotional/sexual entanglements.
God, for example, knows that in two years, you both are going to handle a massive kingdom project, so He brings you together now – but you don’t recognise it.
Instead, you get carried away with the strong – but temporary – emotions, and exchange your title deed to a million dollar home for a wrap of hot shawarma.
The hunger (emotion) is temporarily satiated, but what you have lost…
That is why God teaches us to guard our emotions and, ultimately, fulfill Purpose.
This wasn’t what I was going to post about. At all. I had already prepared another article – but as I said in my About page, ‘The Father’s Mind Through Earthen Fingers.’ I strongly feel this is in the Father’s heart for this season.
We are in the endtime. There is work to be done, tasks to be executed – and divine alliances are being orchestrated.
God is aligning strategic relationships for kingdom purposes – and as I said in my first ever post, He is looking for ‘The Highest Possible Impact In The Shortest Possible Time.’
There is no more time to waste – or go over fleshly regrets and sorrow that doesn’t yield change.
Neither is this to cause guilt or condemnation. As I have revealed in some of my posts, I have made my own fair share of mistakes, but, as it is said, “Anytime you wake up is your morning.”
…And His mercies are new every morning.
Here’s to a Brand New Day.