THE MATURE, SINGLE CHRISTIAN – and a Higher Perspective

I had always known I was going to write on this topic – experiences and lessons learnt as a mature, single Christian. I had already jotted down the outlines, but I was going to write it (1) as a book, and (2) ‘safely behind matrimonial walls.’

When it dropped into my heart a few months ago to write it now – I thought, “No way. What will people say?! No, Lord.”

(It’s strange how we can join two words that do not belong together: ‘No’. ‘Lord’.)

I started fleshing out my outlines – as a future book – then it came again. Start now. As a blog. In series.

Obediently, I put pen to paper, started writing – and then the thoughts began. “Father, what will people say?!” “Father, they won’t understand…” “Lord, they will think…”

Until finally, “Father, I can’t do this now. I know, beyond any doubt, that I will write about it. But not now. By the way, how am I sure it is not even my mind?!” So I closed the book and put it away – for future use.

I didn’t understand why – slowly – my joy ceased, my peace disappeared, praying became difficult, and I suddenly seemed confused about the future.

Finally, after a not-very-pretty (call that really-ugly) battle with the Lord, I surrendered – and said, “Yes, Lord.”

It isn’t just the timing or circumstances of this writing that’s different from what I had planned. The ‘slant’ (perspective) and ‘tone’ are also very, very different from what I had originally intended.

And so, here we are.

Welcome to my blog where, by His grace, I hope to pour out the Father’s heart and mind through my fingers – for as long as He leads.


I will begin right from the middle.

Compared to previous generations, there seems to be a proliferation of Christians who – by reason of age – should be married, but are not.

I am amazed at the number of ‘mature’ Christians I know who genuinely love and serve the Lord, and are completely sold out to Him – yet are still single.

Guess what?

It Is Deliberate.

If you ever fully consecrated yourself to Christ – and totally meant it…
If you ever signed up for His army at one point in your life, and vowed, “Though I perish, I perish…”
If you ever sincerely prayed, “Lord, no matter how long it takes or what it costs, make me into the person You want me to be and use me in whatever capacity You want to”…
…your life no longer became your own – and that includes your marital timetable.

I once heard someone say something that struck and stuck with me. “In this last phase of the endtime, God is looking for the highest possible impact in the shortest possible time.”

You see, the purpose of marriage in this endtime would be for more than companionship and recreation.

It would be for warfare.

In the Lord’s agenda, the family unit would be a major force in the endtime army – and every member would be expected to take his/her position to manifest The Kingdom and accomplish God’s will on earth.

For this purpose, He needs individuals who are fit for their position.

When a soldier is unfit, it affects the unit. When the unit is affected, it affects the regiment – and can, ultimately, affect the whole army.

At this hour, God is not interested in more marriages that are slowing down His desired move – due to their purposelessness and a need for constant repairs, healing and mending.

He doesn’t want more pairings where – instead of coming together to immediately run with the given endtime vision – the individuals are still struggling with baggages that should have been dealt with before marriage.

Neither does He yearn to see more children who – instead of immediately taking their position in the army and picking up where their warrior parents left off – are still fighting generational/personal battles that their Christian parents should have fought. And won.

No. He has had enough of those already.

Time is too short for that.

Rather than keep mending bones and tissues that have not been allowed to heal, or straightening constantly-twisting arrows, God would rather spend time training and perfecting His children so that they are whole, strong, purposeful and fit – and then shoot them out as straight, sharpened, silver arrows at the enemy.


God will rather keep his sons and daughters separate on opposite ends of the earth, if need be, until they are ready for the kingdom marriage and impact He has in mind.

He is ready to wait until these soldiers are purged, purified, refined, and whole. Then, He brings them together – two by two – and hands them His blueprint for their unit.


Someone reading this is saying, “Deborah, I am not interested in all this army ‘blablabla.’ I just want to get married, have two cute babies and serve God in my own little way – but it doesn’t seem to be happening despite all I’ve done.”

Well, it might just be that, like Hannah who didn’t know the magnitude of God’s plan for her life, God is backing you into a corner where His plan will be birthed through/in you. Maybe He is just waiting for you to turn over your little ‘agenda’ to Him – and fall in line with His bigger one.

Another person is thinking, “My own single state is not of God. It is demonic/an attack/a curse….”

Again, maybe. But the more I read the Bible, the more I see the workings of God in an overall plan – one where even the players didn’t know they were part of a ‘script.’

If the brothers of Joseph had known, they would not have sold him into slavery. If the princes of this world had known, they would not have crucified the Lord of Glory. It was ALL in the Plan.

See, you can be so worked on, and used by God in your home and family this endtime, that the enemy would wish he didn’t touch your marital life! When he looks back – and sees what is flowing through you and in you, and how you have repaired the desolations of many generations – he would wish he allowed you get married early with your issues and demons and baggage!

It’s ALL in the plan!

One other person says, “I’ve made too many mistakes. I’ve lost too many opportunities and amazing people. I lost my season when it came…”

Okay…but do you think God was caught unawares? Did you ever think that God knew you would not be ready? The Bible says that long before Adam was formed, God had already put the cross in place. Heknew Adam would fall – so there was already a plan in place for restoration.

And, mind you, the Bible calls this second plan “a better covenant”.

See, it’s ALL in the Plan.

What matters right now is that you are where you are, at this season, for a purpose.

Don’t waste it.

Remember, ‘The Highest Possible Impact In The Shortest Possible Time.’

2 Comments

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s